


Crazy Secret Life

by steverogersperfectteeth



Category: SKAM (Italy)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, also a little bit of angst, also gio is mentioned in a crucial part, bi!elia, tiny abuse mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 07:39:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16806319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steverogersperfectteeth/pseuds/steverogersperfectteeth
Summary: Elia doesn't know why Filippo ignores him at a party. In the end, he has no other choice but to make a confession to Filippo.





	Crazy Secret Life

**Author's Note:**

> hi! 
> 
> a huge thank you to [o-nao-lugar](http://o-nao-lugar.tumblr.com/)  
> for proofreading and the lovely comments & feedback <3 
> 
> Enjoy reading <3

The bus ride to Filippo’s house was quiet. If Filippo noticed that Elia turned to watch to him a few times, silently begging him to show that they were fine, that they weren’t fighting, he didn’t show it.

They had a lot of fun during the party. It was their first time going out as a couple outside of hanging out at Marti’s or Gio’s. They had arrived holding hands, had kissed, had been teased. Even by Eleonora who had never addressed Elia directly in the 2 weeks that she had been home and had found Elia and Filippo cuddling on the couch numerous occasions.

But something had occurred during the teasing and the end of the party, only Elia had no idea what. Filippo completely shut down. There were no longer hands absently placed on knees, no more secret smiles and definitely no more kisses.

Just when he was about to ask Martino if he could crash at his place, knowing that he’d be a complete nuisance now that Martino was dating Niccolò, Filippo approached him with their coats.

“Ready to leave?” Elia nodded and took his coat.

Filippo didn’t look at him once. Not when he held the door open for Elia, not when they were waiting for the bus to arrive and not when they took a seat next to each other.

It was a deafening silence, but inside Elia’s head an entire orchestra of thoughts was being conducted by irrational overthinking.

He wondered if he would still be allowed to sleep in Filo’s bed. Maybe he would have to take the couch, or would Filippo be okay with Elia sleeping on the ground next to the bed?

Ever since they decided to turn the casual make out sessions in the dark into something more official, Elia had been staying over at the Sava household. Which in turn became something permanent when Elia showed up at Filippo’s doorstep, a bruise already forming on his side and a cut in his lip.

Elia didn’t really want to go home after that. He wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to go to his father’s house after that. He also didn’t know if his mum was aware that he wasn’t staying at his father’s anymore, or that he was no longer talking to him, but even if she was, she hadn’t said anything about it.

Filippo didn’t mention a couch, or mattress next to the bed when they entered his house. He simply hung up his coat and headed to his bedroom. Elia followed, bracing himself for heartbreak.

Filippo was already in bed when he stepped into the bedroom, checking his phone. Elia stripped down and climbed into Filippo’s bed, which he had seen as a safe space from the second he had first fallen into it with Filippo on top of him.

Elia decided to stay on one side of the bed, leaving more space between them than there ever had been since their first night together. Maybe Filippo needed that. Perhaps the teasing during the party had gone too far and Filippo had realised that he didn’t want something official after all. Not with a guy like Elia.

He turned his head to look at Filippo, who was now staring at the ceiling, phone abandoned on his nightstand. Elia could barely make out his face, but he had been in close proximity of it numerous times, he knew Filippo was deep in thought.

Finally, Filippo spoke with a soft voice, barely above a whisper:

“I wasn’t your first kiss, was I?”

Elia raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“No? You know that, I-“

Filippo shook his head,

“No, I know, I meant that I wasn’t the first guy you kissed.”

The second Elia heard those words a small, yet sad hole buried deep inside his chest opened, because he hadn’t thought about it for so long. But someone obviously had, otherwise Filo wouldn’t have known.

“It didn’t mean anything.”

Filippo turned to his side and placed his hand on Elia’s cheek. Elia leaned in closer to the touch.

“It didn’t have to mean anything. I just wish you had told me.”

Filippo scooted closer to the younger boy.

Elia already knew the answer, but being relieved that Filippo wasn’t ignoring him anymore, he decided to ask anyway.

“Who told you?”

“No one. I figured it out.”

Elia squinted his eyes, which Filippo probably couldn’t see in the dark. Filippo continued:

“When you were in the kitchen, Luca was talking about how many of his friends turned out to be not straight. I think he was on the verge of an identity crisis when he asked how many people had kissed someone of their own gender. To my surprise, Giovanni also raised his hand. He looked at me when he did, not sure if it was on purpose or not. And now you’ve confirmed my suspicion.”

Elia groaned. If he had chosen his words more carefully, he could’ve avoided this conversation.

But since he valued honesty in every relationship, and also because he tends to blabber around Filippo more often than not, he figured he could at least explain how he and Gio had ended up sharing a kiss:

“We were like 12 or 13, Filo. I’m pretty sure the entire purpose of playing spin the bottle that night was to get Gio to kiss Laura, only it took like 8 rounds before the bottle landed on her.”

Filippo chuckled and rubbed his nose against Elia’s.

“Must have been an exciting party for you then.”

Elia suddenly lost himself in a flashback of that party. That kiss with Gio had been fast, not more than a quick peck on his lips and was laughed off immediately after.

Only, when they were walking home, both with new experiences, their hands had brushed against each other for a second and Gio smiled and took Elia’s hand in his.  
When they arrived at Gio’s house a little later, they had kissed again. Elia couldn’t quite remember who had initiated it. It was only a few seconds longer, but for a short moment there was only Gio and Elia.

Not sure when or why or how, but they never mentioned it again. So, Elia had buried it deep inside his mind, focusing on girls instead and being genuinely happy for Gio when he told them he had a girlfriend.

He returned to the present when he felt Filippo’s thumb stroking his cheek.

“Reminiscing about what could’ve been?” Elia saw a glittering in Filippo’s eyes, even in the dark.

“Are you upset that I didn’t tell you? I had forgotten about it, to be honest.”

Filippo placed a kiss on Elia’s nose.

“Not upset, it only surprised me a little.”

“Because you thought I was straight when you first met me?”

“No, I thought your entire squad, or whatever it is that you call it, was straight, but now you’re dropping like flies,” Filippo smiled and emphasized that he wasn’t angry with a kiss.

When they parted again, still holding each other close, Elia had one more question:  
“Then why did you ignore me?”

“I think I was a bit jealous? With everything I heard about you guys from Martino before, I knew you guys were close, but I wasn’t aware that you were that close and then it turns out you’re even closer. Don’t get me wrong, hanging out with all of you, it’s great and even hilarious at times, but sometimes I feel like an intruder, especially now that we’re together. I don’t know, Elí, I’m learning so much about you by hanging around your friends and it made me realize how much I still don’t know about you.” 

“So, you were jealous because you thought you were my first everything, but it turned out you’re not?” 

“No, because you told me you’d never been with a guy, but then that happened, and it snowballed into thinking that you have this crazy, secret life that I am not a part of. It was stupid.”

Elia grinned, momentarily forgetting the severity of their conversation,

“If you think about it, _you_ are my crazy, secret life.”

Filippo affectionately bummed his head against Elia’s.

“It’s not really secret anymore, isn’t it, Elí?” Filippo said while twirling Elia’s hair through his fingers. Elia smiled at him. 

“No, it isn’t.” 

It was quiet for a while, they were both lost in thought about what would happen next.  
Elia broke the silence:

“You’re the best part of my life, Filo.” 

Filippo rolled his eyes, a smile appearing on his lips: 

“You’re a sap, Santini.”

“I am your sap, Sava.”

Filippo playfully shoved Elia, which lead to them bursting out in giggles. Filippo pulled Elia closer and placed a kiss on top of his head. Elia snuggled into Filippo, his head resting on Filippo's chest. 

“Promise me that if something like this happens again, you’ll talk to me instead of shutting me out?” 

“Are you saying that something like this will happen again?” Filippo asked smiling, lovingly tugging Elia’s hair. 

Elia grinned and said: “Well, now that you mention it, there was this one time where Marti and I-“ 

But before he could continue his made-up story, Filippo had cut him off with a kiss. He suddenly found himself underneath his boyfriend, with his arms pinned above his head. With two final kisses, one on his nose and a longer one on Elia’s lips, Filippo disappeared underneath the covers and Elia knew that their relationship was stronger than ever after this night.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this!  
> Constructive criticism is highly appreciated (I will cry no matter what, but I will still be grateful that you took the time to give feedback :') ) 
> 
> Find me on the [tumblr](https://suckmyboardbaby.tumblr.com/) webs


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